Wifi very unstable

I am struggling to get a good wifi connection on the esp32s3. I have now “concluded” it’s a hardware problem. I have tried multiple esp32s3 with similar results. The same code runs absolutely fine on xiao esp32c3 (but I need more memory).
I have run both esp idf code, arduino code, with all sorts of different configurations, including various antennas.
If I use NVS at the same time as wifi, then wifi never connects.
This is very disappointing. Oh, I forgot, I also tried multiple different antennas, with no result. As some have pointed out, touching the antenna can temporarily solve the problem.